Delightful Surprise

 My years in hibernation after a marriage with a narcissist left me bruised and battered - my last blog post followed the creation of Life in the Aftermath of a Psychopath - where I submersed myself in more than day-to-day survival along with communication from friends and joys as a grandmother, I continued but with comfortably protective boundaries.   I quite suddenly Realize that I am more....once again.

I have a few warm, bright, and cognizant friends from Facebook who have colored my thoughts and given such an indescribable boost to my soul and heart.  One such individual shared his new book of insight with me and inexplicably, my world opened.  Timing isn't everything but part of the equation.  The persistence of hopeful ideas and actual markers of the growth and enlightenment of others forever pushes the self-established barricades we create to our own evolution.  That's my wordy approach to saying, I thank everyone for "keeping on, keeping on!"  With all the ups and downs, there is colorful creation and I am grateful for you all!

A dream of clarity and vivid color staged and choreographed in my mind, played within moments that seemed like hours.  My younger-version daughters and I were laughing gleefully and I was flirting with folks - me!   We were searching clothing-soaked drawers for a pair of jeans and blouse for me to wear.   There was no upset, no hurry; all swathed in such delight.  

To me, the explanation offers the idea that I am - after all these years - ready to let go and move on.  How simple and yet unbelievably optimistic.  I am that Happy, Dancing Figure in memes.  A little gray at the temples - and every additional hair - and drawn with Pillsbury Doughboy outlines.  The quote from "My Best Friend's Wedding where the charming gay editor tells his gorgeous female protege, "there may not be sex, but by God, there will be dancing!!"  Actually and said with humor, I haven't ruled out the former part of that quote, although coming from The Mirror Has Two Faces, "It's a lot less unsanitary" right now.  Nevertheless, there is most assuredly MUSIC!

For the first time in ages, I turned on my CD player and pushed the volume UP.  "Begin the Beguine" is my all-time favorite piece.  Tom Jones singing it can be so glorious but this is the full symphonic version.  During the last decade-plus, life has seemed for me like a longer form of the movie, "Undertaking Betty."  The beautifully kind, affectionate, and finally cheerful main character laughs freely and charmingly at the end.  That last expansive and unfettered giggle finishes the production as the camera pans out and above the ocean liner.  The future is now and the day is full of prospects.

As Jeanne Robertson says, "the first rule for success? Show up!"  OK, world, here I am!